I’ve been reading the reports of the Jerry Sandusky trial closely each day. Every day of testimony compounded the vileness of his acts and revealed the model of a successful sexual predator.
Every day the truth grew clearer to me. We single mothers have to beware and protect our children from the Jerry Sanduskys of the world.
This is not an isolated incident of one evil man hurting children. Jerry Sandusky is everywhere. He may be in your hometown. Or he may be in your neighborhood, your organized group, your church, your childcare center, your family.
A child sexual predator works to get into your good graces, your heart, and your family. He will offer to take your child to the movies, to a pizza place, to a ballgame, to the swimming pool. He will offer to babysit when you have to work.
“The Devil’s voice is sweet to hear.” – Stephen King -
A sexual predator like Jerry Sandusky (male or female, but most often male) will come in sheep’s clothing, never revealing his true intention. He says he wants to mentor your child, but his actual goal is to harm your child. A sexual predator like Jerry Sandusky will never tell you what he really seeks because deception is the rule, rather than the exception.
He could never reveal what he truly wants. He has to mask his evil with good works. And you won’t know it until it’s too late.
Jerry Sandusky used the charity he established to create a herd from which to choose. He chose what our culture considers the weaker children, the “at risk” children of single mothers, then pushed his way into their lives and “mentored” them. He made his intrusion into their lives seem palatable with gifts and “good deeds”.
Each day the testimony revealed, bit by bit, the tried and true methods that Jerry Sandusky used to target and attack his prey of young boys 8 through 11 years old.
He used the same method as other predatory animals. He isolated the more vulnerable ones from the herd and then he pounced and tore them apart.
“Victim 1 said school officials were reluctant to take action when, in the fall of his freshman year, he finally disclosed the abuse to a guidance counselor.”‘He has a heart of gold. He would never do anything like that,’” Victim 1 said, recounting the counselor’s reaction. “They didn’t believe me.”
- Michael R. Sisak – (Staff Writer) citizensvoice.com http://citizensvoice.com/news/victim-counselor-ignored-complaints-about-sandusky-1.132901
Every day of testimony compounded what I know to be true. Sexual predators slither into the midst of children, families, and trusted organizations and hurt them all because we naively allow it to happen. We perpetuate a culture that provides an open door for it.
“ When a local high school coach named Joe Miller walked in on the boy and Sandusky engaging in something that seemed like more than just wrestling, he, too, dismissed it. “I thought, well, it’s Jerry Sandusky — he’s a saint,” Miller testified. “I didn’t think anything of it.”
- Nick Carbone, Time Magazine -
Our culture points out the single parent household and proclaims it to be less than other families. Less financially stable, less socially acceptable, less likely to produce valuable citizens. Less valuable to our culture and society.
Our culture says the children of single mothers are at risk. The term “at risk” is commonly thrown at single parent households. The phrase itself denigrates single parent families and proclaims them less than worthy of respect or support.
Joshua Holland, writer for Alternet, states in this article for Salon.com:
“But as Jean Hardisty, the author of Marriage as a Cure for Poverty: A Bogus Formula for Women, notes, it’s a different story for those without means. “Single mothers who are low-income… are constantly criticized by the general public,” she wrote, “and are held accountable for their single status rather than praised for finding self-fulfillment in motherhood. They are usually judged to be irresponsible, or simply unable to meet the child’s needs, including the supposed need for a father or father figure.” http://www.salon.com/2012/06/13/the_right_blames_single_moms/singleton/
This kind of thinking encourages the mythical belief that every household should have a father or at least a father figure no matter what. It proclaims that single parent families would be more stable, less “at risk”, if only there was a man around to help.
Enter Jerry Sandusky and his ilk.
The notion that the children of single mothers need a father figure to try to salvage their futures is a lie perpetuated by our culture. If we choose to believe the lie, then, yes, our children are at risk.
Our children don’t need father figures. They need strong mothers.
They need strong mothers that believe their family is worthy and strong. They need strong mothers that listen to them and protect them. They need strong mothers that are not swayed by our culture’s idea of a perfect family.
They need strong mothers that believe in their own value and their children’s value.
Our children need a culture that supports non-traditional families and values them as equally as those that fit the narrow definition of a “good” family.
But until that change comes, a strong mother will suffice.
Single mothers beware and protect your children at all costs. Protect them from Jerry Sandusky and the other “mentors” of his kind. No one needs a “father figure” like him.
Strong women scare weak men. Be strong. Our children’s lives are at stake.