Category Archives: Reinvention and Starting Over

What we keep and what we leave behind.

Karen Pierce Gonzalez … Women Writers over 50

Women Writers over 50

Fifty Odd is featuring women writers over 50 each week for 50 weeks. Each guest answers questions about her writing subjects, her writing inspiration, her purpose for writing, and her current books and upcoming writing projects.

Author Karen Pierce Gonzalez is featured this week.

Karen Pierce Gonzalez … Women Writers over 50

Author Karen Pierce Gonzales Women Writers over 50

Author Karen Pierce Gonzalez
Women Writers over 50

Karen is an award winning fiction and nonfiction writer. Her writing credits include nomination for the Pushcart Prize and awards from Farmhouse Magazine National League of American Pen Women, California Writers Association, and others.

She has been a journalist and freelance contributor for The San Francisco Chronicle, Marin Independent Journal, Australian Trade Community Journal, and Press Democrat  as well as other magazines and newspapers. Her fiction has appeared in numerous publications, including Farmhouse Magazine, Sonoma Style, Sonoma Mandala, and Zahir Tales.

She earned her Bachelor of Arts degrees in Creative Writing and Anthropological Linguistics/Folklore from Sonoma State University in California. Her memberships include the Western States Folklore Society and is a columnist for Big Blend Magazine.

Links to Karen Pierce Gonzalez’s books and author page:

Black Pepper Visions: Original Folktales & Stories You Can Eat

Family Folktales: Write Your Own Family Stories – workbook

Family Folktales: What Are Yours?

FolkHeart Press Blog:

Karen Pierce Gonzalez Public Relations Blog

Karen Pierce Gonzalez … Women Writers over 50

When did you decide you wanted to be a writer?

I have been writing since I was 8-years-old and found the process both creative and comforting.

What or who inspired you to write?

My mother was an avid reader who shared her appreciation of books with me. As a very young teen I was inspired by the BEAT poets and writers and occasional school teachers who recognized that I had talent.

What do you hope to accomplish with your writing? (i.e….save the world, make people laugh, share knowledge, make a living, etc.)

I want my fiction to explore possibilities and flush out choices and potential consequences. In writing I seek out the humanity of characters and their situations, hoping to reveal them (to myself as well as others) with compassion rather than judgment.

I want my non-fiction (workbooks, journalism, blogs) to celebrate the folklore (customs, traditions, beliefs) of our lives and to introduce people to how others around the world express their versions of folklore. 

What is your favorite part…(paragraph…page…line) from one of your books?

” At times I must blink to drive away the moisture that appears in my eyes. It is a sign, I am told, of growing old. In the opening and closing of my eyelids, I sometimes forget what I was thinking. And, standing here, waiting for the children to finish their lessons, this can be good. Back then I thought I would never forget the way my throat closed, not letting a sound escape. His efforts to comfort me were lost, too. Hearing that I and my fruits would be greatly missed did not touch me with the tenderness he had hoped. They could not erase the pain of my tightened face.

Sometimes, like today, I remember more than I want to. I can see again the way the sun ran its warm fingers through his dark hair as he bent down to pick up the fruit that had fallen from the tray. This is the best fruit and the children here are very lucky to have you,” he had said.”

From Isalene/Black Pepper Visions

What have you learned from writing?

Two important lessons I have learned:

  • Writing is a process and I need to be willing to let go of ‘control’ while a piece is being formed. This allows me find the heartbeat and rhythm that, in the end, will dictate the structure (story/essay, etc.)
  • Creating stories and writing news articles allows me to focus intently on the depths of a particular topic and at the same time provides a common bridge between me and others.

What are you working on now…or what is your next writing project?

I have just finished editing LOVE Lotions, Potions & Lore, a Kindle e-book sampler (20 authors/artists around the world). All proceeds benefit the National Center for Family Literacy.

I am also working on a collection of short stories.

Thank you to Karen Pierce Gonzalez for letting us learn more about her. Please follow the links and check out her works.

Hoarder or Historian? Boomers…Life after 50

Hoarder or Historian?

I know what I am, but what are you? I ‘m a hoarder.

by Peggy Browning

I’ve been going through boxes, closets, and yes…piles of stuff…in preparation for moving from my 3 bedroom, 1.5 bathroom house into a much smaller domain (a travel trailer.) Now I’ve come to the awful conclusion that I’m a hoarder.

Yep. I’m only one box of junk…one Rubbermaid box of outdated clothing…and a pile of newspapers with a dead cat underneath it…away from being a hoarder.

All this time I’ve thought more kindly of myself…calling myself a pack-rat, a collector, even a historian. But no, I have to face reality and this can be called nothing other than being a hoarder.

I derive a certain pleasure from just looking at my stuff. I even go to garage sales and estate sales because I get excited about looking at other people’s stuff. I love to open a box and find a long forgotten treasure and wax nostalgic about it for a few minutes.

And now that I’m sorting through my belongings, trying to weed out the fluff and keep only necessities, I find it to be rather painful to think of getting rid of all this junk. Some of it holds memories of good times past; some of it holds the hope of good times ahead.

For instance…I bought a pewter teapot at a junk store recently. To me, this is not simply a beaten up old teapot. In my mind, I see this teapot sitting on my kitchen table holding a bouquet of peace roses cut from my rose garden decorating a little home filled with love and grandchildren and fresh-baked cookies. I imagine my grandchildren having fond memories of seeing that little teapot filled with roses, remembering all the love at Grandma’s house. I see them fighting over the teapot after I die. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I'm a little teapot...filled with imagination...

I’m a little teapot…filled with imagination…

But…I don’t have a rose garden much less a blooming peace rose. I don’t have fresh baked cookies straight from my oven. Soon I won’t even have a kitchen table, other than the one in my soon-to-be-purchased RV.

So…shall I toss the teapot thereby tossing my hope for nostalgic remembrances of me after I’m gone? Well, duh…toss the teapot. And write that descriptive scene about the roses in one of my yet to be published novels.

They have stories to tell, but nobody's talking.

They have stories to tell, but nobody’s talking.

And what about my naked Chatty Cathy doll who no longer chats? My Francie (Barbie’s cousin) with the broken leg and smart short hairdo that I styled for her? My Pepper & Pete & Penny dolls with the bendable wire legs? My naked  beheaded original Barbie doll body?

I tried giving them to my five-year old granddaughter only to be rebuffed with “Eeewww, Grandma, that’s yucky. I don’t like them.”

I’ve considered it my place to pass along memories, to tell my descendants about my life. I’ve considered myself a historian. When I was two years old, our elderly neighbor, Mrs. Gill, entrusted  a china doll, a porcelain cup, and a Frozen Charlotte doll with my mother to keep for me.

 

My china doll, Angela Amelia and Frozen Charlotte, her companion.

My china doll, Angela Amelia and Frozen Charlotte, her companion.

Mrs. Gill too, was cleaning out her home, sorting through her treasures, preparing to down-size from her big two-story home in the country. The doll belonged to her daughter, who died in childhood.  The cup was a gift from Mrs. Gill’s best friend in honor of her 14th birthday. Frozen Charlotte was accompanied by no story. My mother kept these things secure for me and gave them to me when I grew up, passing along the trust to ensure their safe-keeping. I’ve packed these possessions in boxes and moved them over 30 times, from apartments to rentals to my own home. There are no chips or dings on them anywhere, except for the original chips and dings.

Now what do I do with them? Move them again or entrust their well-being to someone else? (I’ll probably take them along with me.)

My first Trade Days purchase.

My first Trade Days purchase.

I’ve been collecting junk since I was a kid. My Daddy let me tag along to Second Monday Trade Days when he took pigs to sell there. He would give me a dollar and allow me to wander the streets at the monthly trade fair. My first purchase was a set of bookends for a quarter…which left me enough money to buy a snow-cone and other niceties. Those bookends have been packed up and transported on over 30 moves as well.

I’ve called myself a collector all these years, but all that I consistently collect is merely dust. I have some in every room of my house…

The naked truth is…I’m a hoarder. I hoard memories of the past and hope for the future.

But now where will I stash all these memories and hopes in a travel trailer? I sympathize with the hoarders on the TV shows. I know it’s painful to let go. But it’s time. It’s time to let go.

I’ll have a moving sale and set my treasures out for the public to buy.

Anybody need a mute, naked Chatty Cathy? She needs a good home. She’s ready to move on.

Writing Boomer Lit … Life After 50

 

I write Boomer Lit.

I write Boomer Lit.

Boomer Lit.Last week I discovered there is a name for what I do. It’s called writing boomer lit. I really like that what I do finally has a name.  Now I have a genre. I’m not a romance writer, a mystery writer, an essayist. I’m a Boomer Lit writer.

 

 

What is Boomer Lit?

Boomer lit is a whole new genre that’s just come into being recently. Since the Baby Boomers have turned 50 and older, we’ve demanded stories that focus on us…our problems, our loves, our desires, our dreams, our…well, our selves.

Our Boomer generation, born between 1946 and 1964, may not the Greatest Generation, but we are darn sure an interesting generation. And apparently we like to read and write about ourselves so much that we’ve created a whole new genre in literature. All for us and all about us!

We Boomers are so self-absorbed and interested in ourselves that we had to create a whole new area in the book store devoted just to us. I say…Bully for the Boomers! (In case you’re too young to know…bully is sometimes used to denote good stuff, like when Teddy Roosevelt said “bully!”)

Why I’m Writing Boomer Lit

I started writing this Boomer Lit a couple of years ago when I grew tired of reading about fictional and real people having crises when they turned 40.

In both fiction and nonfiction literature, it seemed that anyone over 40 was truly over the hill. Life for anyone over 40 was meaningless. And I knew that was a crock of lies. Because here I was over 50, living a pretty good, meaningful, exciting life and expecting Life to just get better as I aged.

In typical Boomer fashion, I believe Life is about the journey and not the destination. So quieten the whining and get on with your journey.

I had already lived through these so-called crises. I just wanted good stories. Spare me the hand-wringing details.

So, since I couldn’t find any characters I could admire and emulate who were my age and not a bunch of whining youngsters with problems with their marriages and their self-images and their lipstick shade and their changing hormones…Well, I just made up my own characters and started writing about them.

My first novel in the Boomer Lit genre is The Big 5-0. It features those 50-something characters that are so like my friends and me. It is the first in a series of Matilda Mason Mysteries. It will be out soon in both paperback and e-book.

I’ve already written and published a book of essays, Fifty Odd: Viewing Life After 50 Through Rose-Colored Bifocals, and a comic book of wittiness, Square Peg’s Words of Wisdom.  They’re in paperback and e-book versions as well.

( Follow the links and buy them please! Help support this old Boomer!)

I wanted to read about people who have been there, done that, and are still there and doing that, or have learned from it and are doing something different. We Boomers have lived through a lot of history together. Good stuff, bad stuff…we’ve been through it together. Those young people just don’t understand.

Boomer Lit. Boomer Lit. Boomer Lit. I just keep repeating that term.

Finally…my baloney has a first name! I’m so glad to hear it! I’m finally part of a group!

And I’m pretty sure that it’s marketable. I’m not the only Boomer out here that wants to read and write Boomer Lit…and read and write about characters and people who are just like us. We want validation.

When I started writing Boomer Lit, I thought I was unique. I thought I was a pioneer in the field, cutting away through the thick undergrowth of chick lit and young adult lit and new adult lit to find a place where I could settle. And now it turns out that I’m not alone! Yea! I have found my village.

You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one…so to speak. And where there’s a dreamer…there’s a market for their products!

Buy Boomer Lit

Here’s links to my books….just so you can start your Boomer Lit collection now.  Oh, come on…you know you want to read it!

 Fifty Odd: Viewing Life After 50 Through Rose-Colored Glasses

Soft Cover

E-Book

Square Peg’s Words of Wisdom

Soft Cover

E-Book

 

Boomer LIt

Author Linda Lee Greene…Women Writers over 50

Author Linda Lee Greene: Women Writers Over 50

Fifty Odd supports women writers over 50.

Author Linda Lee Greene is featured this week.

Bestselling author and award-winning artist, Linda Lee Greene was born in the farmhouse bedroom of her maternal grandparents located on the rim of the famous star-wound in Peebles, Adams County, Ohio, USA known the world over as the Great Serpent Mount Crater.  Mother of a son and a daughter, and grandmother of two grandsons, Greene resides in Columbus, Ohio.  She works part-time as an interior designer for a firm in Columbus.  To date, she has authored three books.

 

Linda Lee Greene: I Want to Change the World One Story at a Time

I’ve played with idea of being a professional writer for as long as I can remember, and I knew intuitively how to do it, but I don’t believe that I ever chose to actually do it—seriously, I mean.  I believe that it chose me.  I’m convinced that in my case, it was one of those gifts of grace given to me to save my life at a time when I was desperately ill with a decade-long disease, one that was about to do me in.

The worst part of the illness was that it had blind-sided me just when I had finally pulled my life together and was preparing to soar.  One minute I had been perfectly healthy, and the next, grossly sick.  And I hadn’t done much with my life to that point, other than marrying young, birthing two children, and divorcing into the unenviable, but also heroic, status of a single parent—but anyone can do those things.  When my children were grown and on their own, I had big plans to make up for all of the time I had been able to only dabble in the wonderful talents God had given to me, to put my nose to the grindstone and to begin to fulfill the real purpose for which I had shown up in this life as Linda Lee Greene.  But ten years passed while I lived in that particular gauzy cocoon that is the by-product of serious illness, and my life grew smaller rather than larger—so much for the big destiny to which I felt I had been called.

It was early morning, Thursday, August 10, 2000, (three days before my 57th birthday) and I was home on yet another extended disability leave from my position as an interior designer for a local firm.  I crawled out of bed and repaired to my bathroom, and while in the shower, the words to a story poured over me as if they were contained within the molecules of the water.  And not only were there words, but I saw it unfold in my mind’s eye.  It was like a movie reel playing in my brain.  I saw Oma Mae Adams; I knew her name: I heard her voice; I knew her life in a flash.  I liken it to stories we hear about people who’ve had near-death experiences and their lives play out in full before their eyes.  I returned to my bed with a notebook and a pen, and began to write my first book, the murder mystery that I titled, Jesus Gandhi Oma Mae Adams. 

Suddenly, my life had meaningful purpose again, and I knew my destiny.  I also understood the importance of what had happened to me in that shower.  I knew immediately that God had given to me the avenue to a cure for my illness, one that in large part required that I get out of my own way, in essence that I climb out of my self.  He gave me Oma Mae Adams, a presence that was all-absorbing, and a life, although fictional, that was so satisfying to me that I forgot to worry about my own life.  I forgot to be anxious about the future.  I gave up my past except for the parts of it that complimented the story I was writing.  I stopped regretting old mistakes because I realized they are the ready-made fodder for my stories.

When I finished the original manuscript, I recruited my maternal first cousin, Debra Shiveley Welch to work on a part of the second draft with me.  It was the first book for both of us, and to our surprise and delight, it was an Amazon bestseller upon its release six years later.  For these reasons, I don’t have the luxury of taking lightly the gift of writing that was given to me.  It’s a big debt that I owe to God, and I will die doing my best to do justice to it.

You ask, Peggy what I want to accomplish with my writing.  First and foremost, I want to change the world with every story that I write; I want to promote understanding, tolerance, and love; I want what I write to raise the consciousness of every reader of my work.  Also, since I have had the privilege of living a lot of life over a long period of time, I have knowledge and experience to impart.  But I manage to add a bit of levity to my work, so if readers get some joy from my stories, then I will have done my job well.

Asking me to choose my favorite part of my books is like asking me to name my favorite child.  It’s an impossible task, but I will share the following with you.  It is an excerpt of my latest book, Guardians and Other Angels, a historical novel.

Based on a true story of three generations of my family, it takes place in a region of deep back country in Southern Ohio, and most of it during the Great Depression and America’s early years of involvement in World War II.  Included in the novel are transcriptions of real letters spanning 1936 to 1941 that were written by the main characters of the story.

Lee, in the following excerpt from Guardians and Other Angels, is my father when he was a young boy:

__________________________________________________

“The one-room, Cedar Fork schoolhouse across the holler from the little log cabin on the near side of Peach Mountain was a tolerable two-mile walk in nice weather.  It was an enjoyable walk actually, if one had time to swing from a grapevine on top of a high cliff and drop into Cedar Fork Creek for a lazy dip, or stop by the Workman’s place for a quick smoke of their corn silk tobacco.  But in snowdrifts as tall as thirteen-year-old, Lee Greene, in threadbare clothes, thin hand-me-down coat, and barely covered feet in holey socks flopping in an old pair of secondhand shoes that were several sizes too big for him, the walk that frigid morning was worse than pure misery.

The chronically aching stomach of Lee was hollow and rumbling.  His meager breakfast of cornmeal mush and sugar water was quickly wearing thin, but he had more important things than his stomach to worry about that morning.  He was stewing about the paucity of milk he had drawn from their cow tethered in the yard just beyond the lean-to kitchen at the back of the tiny log cabin.  The two-story structure, built by A. E., Lee, and Bill only five months before, consisted of a common, or front room on the main level, a primitive lean-to kitchen at the back, and a bedroom where Eva Love and A. E. slept, housing the only closet in the place.  A rough-hewn timber ladder gained access to the upper deck, where, in an open-to-the-front loft, all of the many children slept on crude cots, or thin pads on the floor.  A large ceiling-to-floor fireplace of indigenous stones in the common room on the first floor was the only source of heat in the place.  Felled tree trunks supporting its roof, a porch spanned the width of the front of the log cabin.  

The soil on Cedar Fork, thin, hard, and dry, a crusty layer of sediment topping bedrock of limestone, dolomite and shale, made for poor farming and gardening, posing a formidable challenge for the growing of adequate food.  Squirrels, rabbits, opossums and birds, hunted and brought in by Lee, the insufficient supply of milk from the cow, and scant eggs supplied by their paltry flock of scrawny chickens in the yard, were the only sources of protein for the family.  In season, a large vegetable garden and a stand of corn were coddled into fruition in the poor soil, but only if they were favored with enough rain.    

His nose and eyes crusty from yet another head cold, gloveless hands thrust into the pockets of his thin coat, and his feet turning to blocks of ice, Lee trudged on to school, his white-blond head under his hat hunkered into his shoulders.  Despite the fact that he might not make it through the perpetual hardships of his life, much less that cold, windy, and snowbound morning, his soul was full of dreams, his mind of intention, his body of vigor and endurance, and on the strength of pure power of will alone, and maybe some help from the man upstairs, Lee was determined that if he got out of his childhood alive, nothing would encumber him again.

The schoolhouse was dark and frigid, Lee, by design, having been the first to arrive.  The door was unlocked as it always was, and Lee, halting for a few minutes to give his blood a chance to circulate again in his frozen limbs and digits, sat down on one of the benches.  He would have wept if he had allowed himself to seriously consider his unfortunate circumstances—but not Lee!  No, not Lee!  He had a chance to earn fifty cents that week, and every week for weeks to come, fifty cents for building a fire in the “Warm Morning” coal-burning, heating-stove each morning before school, and that was exactly what the Sam Hill he was going to do…”

 ___________________________________________________

The most important thing that I have learned from writing, Peggy, is that it is my best avenue into the part of me that is my private portion of God.  I believe that God caused me to write because He/She knew that it is the only way to bring me, and to keep me, home, and the best way to help me to reveal myself to myself and to others.  Writing is an act of exploration for me:  I weigh ideas, test theories, check facts through the words I write…and by way of it, I find my way in the world.

_____________________________________________

I just sent my third book to my publisher.  It is a book for young readers titled, Bussy Gaffin and His Champion Roosters.  I adapted it from an excerpt of Guardians and Other Angels.  My good friend and master artist, Edith D. Wadkins did the wonderful and charming artwork for it.  Hopefully, it will be released in a month or two.  I have three other books underway.  One of them is a murder mystery that takes place in Las Vegas, and the sequel to it takes a young American man on a spiritual odyssey in Australia, where he finds his real home and true love.  The third project is a book of non-fiction that comprises transcriptions of the balance of the authentic letters of my family that were introduced in Guardians and Other Angels.  It is correspondence that bridges the whole of World War II.  I am weaving a chronicle of the war among the letters.  It is a huge undertaking that will take a very long time; there is no doubt about it.

The direct link to Guardians and Other Angels is http://amzn.to/PUOXl9

Jesus Gandhi Oma Mae Adams is found at http://www.amazon.com/Linda-Lee-Greene/e/B00864OVWA

My Amazon Author Page is https://www.amazon.com/author/lindaleegreene

The address to my blog, In Good Company is http://Ingoodcompanyohio.blogspot.com

I co-host the new blog, The River Time, found at http://therivertime.blogspot.com

My online art gallery is at www.gallery-llgreene.com

I’m highlighting other authors each week…one per week…women writers over 50. This is a diverse group of writers…I think there will be something here to interest everyone.

Each author has links to her works. Support your Indie Authors! Buy their books! We women writers over 50 need your support!

Hope Springs Eternal … Life After 50

Hope Springs Eternal … Life After 50

I planted a vegetable garden a few days ago. I planted potatoes and plugged in some onions in the soft dirt on top of them. Even though we are in the third year of drought and record setting warm temperatures and it hasn’t rained since I don’t know when…I planted it anyway.

All I can say is that hope springs eternal in a gardener’s heart.

In the days ahead, I will dig up more patches of dirt. I will pull out the Bermuda grass sprigs, empty some bags of cow manure onto the dirt clods and work the manure in with a shovel. I’ll throw in some leaf mold and compost.

Then I’ll hope for the best and pray for rain.

I grew up on a farm. And every year my mother planted a garden. She didn’t let dry weather stop her. Every year, she harvested a bountiful crop of potatoes, corn, squash, green beans, pinto beans, black-eyed peas, English peas, radishes, onions, okra, spinach, cabbage, lettuce, cucumbers, dill, beets, and tomatoes. What we didn’t eat fresh each day, she put away for later.

My mother canned the produce in glass Mason jars, carefully cleaning and storing the jars after we emptied each one at mealtime during the year. She blanched corn, peas, and squash and froze them. She pickled beets and cucumbers and okra.

We ate like kings almost the whole year round thanks to Mama’s diligence and hard work. And it wasn’t just my family that ate like that…all my relatives ate well too, because all my aunts gardened, harvested, and canned their own food.

With a background like this, how can I help but try again and again, year after year, to produce some tomatoes and squash, potatoes and onions, spinach and lettuce right here in my back yard? I’m not the gardener that my mother was, but some years I have a little bit of luck and fresh tomatoes.

Last year I had beautiful tomato vines and I watered them faithfully. They were covered with little yellow blooms, but didn’t produce even ONE tomato. After my water bill reached over $100 in June, I began to slack off the watering. I finally gave up and bought my fresh tomatoes at the Farmer’s Market.

But, hope springs eternal once again and I’m back out in my back yard measuring rows and digging up the hard clay soil. I don’t give up easily.

Gardening is kind of life Life, really. You sow what you hope to reap, till and plant, spread the bull hockey around, and just hope and pray for the best.

At least that’s how I’ve always lived (and gardened as well.) I haven’t given up easily on my garden or my Life’s dreams either.

Hope springs eternal for both.

Bucket List Review 2012

All my friends know that I make a Bucket List every year. I’ve made one each year since I turned 50.

I am a list maker. I make a TO DO list almost every day. If I don’t make a TO DO list, I usually don’t accomplish much. Sometimes, even when I do make a list for the day, I still don’t accomplish much.

Without a list, I often lose focus and accomplish nothing other than phoning my friends, eating nachos from Taco Bell, and watching Dr. Phil. Those activities aren’t exactly challenging.

I even go so far as to make a list of what I want to accomplish for the week, the month, and the season…so making a Bucket List for the whole year is a natural extension of those plans.

You could call me obsessive-compulsive, but please don’t. I’m not OCD. I just like to mark things off the list.

I’ve found that making a Bucket List for each year keeps me in focus. I write down the things I want to do…I add activities for each year of my age. That way, I have even more things to accomplish as I grow older.

My 2012 Bucket List numbered 56 items; the 2013 version will number 57. I haven’t finished my 2013 list yet, but I know that it will include walking on the Appalachian Trail, somewhere…somehow. It’s a long trail, surely I can find a place to walk on it!

If I don’t write a Bucket List, I waste time with a lot of shouldas, couldas, wouldas, and damn,IwishIhads. I like to live with few regrets.

Some years I do everything on the list. Some years I don’t. But writing the list puts things in perspective. I examine each activity on the list and sometimes find that just looking at it and thinking about it helps me decide if it’s even worth doing or if I still desire to do it.

Here’s a review of  a few of the activities I checked off my 2012 Bucket List:

  1. Write a newspaper column. (http://pioneer-sentinel.com)
  2. Publish a book. (Fifty Odd: Viewing Life after 50 through Rose-Colored Bifocals…available on Amazon and Create Space.)
  3. Rock my new granddaughter to sleep. (And sing a lullabye)
  4. Take a trip somewhere. (Made several)
  5. Pay bills off. (Hallelujah!)
  6. Ride a “real” train with my grandson and granddaughter. (More fun than a barrel of monkeys.)
  7. Dress up and go somewhere nice. (Attended a friend’s beautiful wedding.)
  8. Write some good feature stories. (Again…http://pioneer-sentinel.com)
  9. Go to a play. (Chorus Line)
  10. Go to a concert. (Michael Martin Murphy)
  11. Read 10 good books. (More than 10, of course…but 10 is a good place to start)
  12. Be still and be calm. (Ohm….what else can I say?)
  13. Learn something new. (Attended the 13 week Sheriff’s Office Citizen’s Academy.)
  14. Be frugal. (Always.)
  15. Grow a vegetable garden. (Fresh potatoes and squash out of my backyard were delicious.)
  16. Work in my yard. (Made a beautiful, pleasant flower garden grown mostly from seed.)
  17. Make every car payment on time. (Yep.)
  18. Build something with my grandchildren. (A bird house and a hammock stand.)
  19. Do something special for someone. (It’s a secret.)

Here’s what I DIDN’T accomplish from the 2012 Bucket List :

  1. Learn to make a good coconut cream pie. (But I ate a delicious slice at a café in Holliday, Texas.)
  2. Put my photographs in albums. (Still in multiple boxes.)
  3. Lose 25 lbs. (Oh, well.)
  4. Stop being so gripy and intolerant. (Working on it.)
  5. Go to a college basketball game. (There’s still March Madness…)

So…I did more than I didn’t do…even though I didn’t do everything on the Bucket List.

I learned a lot. I did a lot. I read a lot. I meditated a lot. I laughed a lot.

I have few regrets for the year of 2012. I started a couple of projects that I didn’t finish…but at least I tried….

AND…..

If there’s anything the Mayans have taught us, it’s this :   If you don’t finish every project you start, it’s not the end of the world.

Really.

But don’t let that stop you from trying….

Ghosts of Holidays Past

This holiday season I have become more and more like Ebenezer Scrooge, the bah, humbug character in Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol.” That’s not because I have become grumpier and stingier, although I admit that I do have my moments.

No, it’s because I’ve been visited by the same ghosts, or at least those kin to them, that visited Scrooge.

Yes, I said ghosts.

In the story, Scrooge was visited by his deceased partner, Jacob Marley and the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Christmas Present, and Christmas Yet to Come. His visitors weren’t very pleasant and they left old Scrooge feeling somewhat confused and worried.

I haven’t seen old man Marley around, but recently the Ghosts of Holidays Past, Holidays Present and Holidays Yet to Come have called on me. In contrast to Scrooge’s visitors, all of mine have been congenial and pleasant and have left me feeling hopeful.

When the Ghost of Holidays Past visited me she brought happy childhood memories of holidays celebrated with a houseful of relatives: grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. There was laughter, excitement, and a table laden with holiday specialties.  The desserts impressed me most.

Our family could count on certain desserts each year. Those special offerings were served only during the Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations because Easter had its own special menu.

My mother and her sisters prepared coconut cake, ambrosia, pecan pie, and red velvet cake with seven minute frosting. The red velvet cake was my Aunt Durelle’s specialty. It was three layers of deliciousness, each separated by a special, secret filling, and encased by stiff, white, frosting. Her cake defined the festive atmosphere of the holidays.

My mother and aunts weren’t ones to shout “Happy Holidays!” But like the women of their time, they spoke their love through cooking. The generous spread of food at our table told me that we were all well loved.

The Ghost of Holidays Past reminded me of the desserts and the love at our table during happy days shared with family who are now long gone, but always remembered.

At Thanksgiving this year, I was working at a bookstore instead of sitting with my family around a table strained by its load of holiday desserts. At my lunch break, I hurried to a fast food place to catch a quick bite.

While driving to Braum’s, I reminisced about Holidays Past and my aunt’s red velvet cake. I wished with all my heart that I could revisit those days if only for a few moments.

I had no clue I was about to be visited by the Ghost of Holidays Present. It seems that ghosts show up when you least expect them.

While I placed my order for a burger and fries, a family entered the restaurant and stood behind me, looking at the menu displayed on the wall.  Grandparents, parents, and four kids ranging in age from about 11 to 18, waited patiently to place their order. I noticed the mother was holding a covered metal cake pan.

I sat alone in my booth, eating my burger and reading the newspaper while watching that family out of the corner of my eye.  After they finished their meal and cleared their table, the youngest child stood, smiling, beside his grandfather. The rest of the family gathered round and sang “Happy Birthday” to the boy.

Then the mother removed the lid from the cake pan, cut the cake and handed pieces to her family. Then she looked at me and said, “Would you like a piece of homemade red velvet cake?”

Why, yes. Yes, I would like a piece of homemade red velvet cake. She didn’t know how much that slice of cake meant to me. Or maybe she did.

After she gave me my slice, the woman proceeded to give a piece of love…er, cake…to everyone there.

Recently my last visitor, the Ghost of Holidays Yet to Come showed up. She came to call on the day my small, but growing, family had gathered to celebrate our combination Thanksgiving/Christmas/Ben’s Birthday holiday.

The friendly ghost encouraged me to look around.  I saw a family with a grandparent, children who had grown up and become aunts and uncles, grandchildren who were brother and sister with a little cousin on the way. I saw a table laden with lovingly prepared holiday food.

The only thing I didn’t see was a red velvet cake with seven minute frosting. But I definitely see one in our future.

Do-It-Yourself Plumbing

Thanks to a do-it-yourself plumbing project, I enjoyed a well-deserved, relaxing, steamy, hot bath this evening.

It’s about time. I haven’t had a bath in almost a year. It’s a long story.

The whole sorry affair started when my bathtub stopped holding water. I would draw a bath and then the water would all leak out rather quickly because the whatchamacallit that was attached to the little flippy thing that you flip up to hold water and down to release water stopped working correctly.

I tried to fix it by taking it apart and putting it all back together. It never worked again. The flippy thing didn’t flip any more. And the whatchamacallit stopped plunging downward.

Trust me…I put a lot of effort and foul language into trying to repair it. But, alas, I was defeated.

Oh, well. My shower still worked and I decided baths were over-rated. So I just took long, hot showers.

Then one day last October, the drain in the tub stopped working. Water collected during my daily shower and rose first to my ankles, inching ever upward. By the time I finished showering, I was standing in water up to my lower calf.

There was a little bit of drain activity, but not much. I left for work, hoping it would be drained when I returned. That evening, I poured Liquid Plumber through a small puddle into the drain, hoping it would dissolve the plug-up.

Next morning, I started all over again…with a shower…with rising water…with an obviously, hopelessly plugged up drain.

When I returned from work, the water was still standing, almost none had drained during the 8 hours I was gone. So I bailed the water out with a mixing bowl, poured in more drain cleaner, plunged the drain and cursed it.

Next day…same routine. Except I didn’t bail the water when I got home because I was tired and decided to do it the next morning. I just poured more Liquid Plumber through the water and called it a night.

So much for my do-it-yourself plumbing.

And then, that night, my dog died.

The next morning, I dug a grave and held a solemn funeral for my long-time companion, bidding her farewell from this side of the Rainbow Bridge.

Then I went back inside to get ready for work…on a Sunday at that.  I bawled like a baby and bailed water so I could take a shower.

Enough of that! On my lunch hour, I went to the big box home improvement store and looked at plumbing supplies. I asked advice about repairs from a salesperson.

Perhaps I shouldn’t have asked. I was already having a bad day. But then, how was I to know he was a jackass?

“Well, first…” he smirked, “you’ve got to be smarter than the drain.”

Oh. No. He. Did-unt. But yes, of course, he did.

I assured him that I was certainly smarter than a blankety-blank drain pipe, tossed my supplies in my basket and flounced out of that store, muttering all the way about the frickin’ frackin’ lack of customer service. (I won’t mention the name of the store, but it starts with  L and rhymes with GOES.)

Later that evening, I poured vinegar and boiling water down the drain and it finally opened. Next I pulled the whatchamacallit out of the pipe. I read the instructions on the repair kit, and was intimidated by it all.

Maybe I wasn’t smarter than a drain pipe after all. I did a half-ass job of replacing the whatchamacallit and left it at that.

Then I drank a beer and took a nap because I was sad and tired.

Eventually I tucked the repair kit away in the hall closet and continued taking showers.

Then today, I decided I wanted to take a hot bath. I deserved it, I thought.

I had my confidence back. I believed I was smarter than a drain pipe. I knew I could do it

And I did. I tore that sucker apart and with the aid of a pair of pliers, a flat-head screwdriver, appropriate sized  ¼ inch x 2 ½ inch screws and a Hershey’s milk chocolate bar (with almonds because they’re healthy)…I fixed that dadgum drain.

My bathtub holds water now…and not because the drain is plugged up.

Can we fix it? Yes, we can! Bob the Builder would have been proud.

I drew a hot bath and relaxed in the tub, reading a book and drinking a glass of wine.

And then my toilet overflowed.

Well, shoot. I’ll fix it next October. I only do one do-it-yourself  plumbing project per year. Until then, I’ll try to remember to jiggle the handle.

I hope I’m smarter than a toilet overflow thingamajig.

Calgon…take me away! Please…I beg you!

 

Bad Hair and Fat Girls

Last week, I wallowed on my sofa nursing the blues and watching the Olympics. Occasionally I would get off the couch to check my Facebook news feed and Yahoo! News. Discouraged by all the posts about bad hair and fat girls, I quickly returned to flopping around on the couch, wishing I’d never left it in the first place.

As I lay there, flipping channels between NBC, ESPN and MSNBC, I wondered about all the crap I’d just read. My Facebook feed was full of snarky remarks about women’s hairstyles and their body size.

The first post I read was about Hillary Clinton and her current hairstyle. There was a long, detailed conversation about that.

The Secretary of State has let her hair grow out. And not everyone likes it. Oh, darn.

One poster said he liked Hillary’s longer hair, but he thought her legs were too heavy.

I’ll bet the Secretary of State worries about that a lot. It’s not like she’s busy or anything…she’s just trying to keep Iran and Israel from starting a war and North Korea from starving its entire population and Syria from murdering its women and children.

I’m sure that while Madame Secretary was dodging the tomatoes and shoes lobbed at her motorcade on her diplomatic tour of Egypt, she was quietly obsessing about getting her roots touched up.

I’ll bet that when she got back in the States, her first call was to her hairdresser. Mmmhmm.

Then there were all the comments about Olympic gymnast Gabby Douglas. Forget that the 16 year old won two gold medals for the U.S.A. in both the team and individual all around competitions, it’s her hair that concerned folks.

I imagine that Gabby won’t be too concerned about her hair when she competes this week. She will likely be focused on her performance on the balance beam and the uneven bars.

Maybe she can do something about her hair when she gets back home, wearing those big gold medals around her neck.

And then, of course, everybody had something to say about Holley Mangold, the U.S. weightlifter in the 75 Kg-plus category. She’s too fat, everybody said. Strong, they conceded, but fat. And her hair looked tacky, slicked back as it was to stay out of her eyes.

Holley didn’t win any medals, but she tried. She lifted 231.5 pounds and 297.6 pounds in two categories: the snatch and clean and jerk. She did that with a torn wrist on one hand and a fluid pocket, bruised bone and tear on the other one.

I wouldn’t expect a 98 lb. weakling to do that.

I have to wonder: what the hell is wrong with us? Why do we casually insult people about their hair and their weight when they are obviously engaged in other worthwhile efforts like bringing peace to the world or setting world records?

Why do we focus on bad hair and fat girls when there are so many more important issues with which we could concern ourselves?

These women, Hillary…Gabby…Holley… are accomplished. They are strong. They are focused and engaged. They are making important strides worldwide with their feats of strength, diplomacy and derring-do.

As I lay on my couch, I compared myself to these women, young and old. There was actually little to compare.

  • I can barely carry on a good conversation much less speak with world leaders.
  • I’ve never been able to turn a cartwheel.
  • I struggle to lift a 40 lb. sack of dog food into my shopping cart.
  • I don’t even have a good haircut.

I’m no match for these women. I admire them for their strength, determination and inner beauty.

Their messy hair and body mass index doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of Life.

And if it doesn’t matter to them and their lives, I don’t think it should matter to us.

We’ve all got more important things to do than coif our hair.

Hillary and Gabby and Holley are doing those things…their things. They’re not too worried about bad hair and fat girls.

Why aren’t we doing our important things as well?

“We need to understand that there is no formula for how women should lead their lives. That is why we must respect the choices that each woman makes for herself and her family. Every woman deserves the chance to realize her God-given potential.”

- Hillary Rodham Clinton, It Takes A Village -

“We need to do our own important things, accomplish our own important goals…despite our bad hair or fat bodies.”

- Peggy Browning, Bad Hair and Fat Girls -

Shades of Gray…Speaking My Mind after 50

I will speak my mind after age 50.

For some people values are written solely in black and white. I believe that for most of us, though, it is the shades of gray that define our values.

The contrast of the black and white applied to values and actions is stark and harsh, but never harsher than when accusing another person of a perceived misdeed. In that case, there is no gray shading allowed to soften the glare.

The drastic contrast of black and white hurts our eyes, draws attention only to the difference between the colors. There is nothing that connects the two. No shades of gray to blend the hard edges.

Black or white. Yes or no. Right or wrong. Stark, harsh contrast between the two.

And so it was that when the story of the Clay County commissioner who was indicted for a Class A misdemeanor, the rightness or the wrongness of it was printed in black and white.

Stark and harsh. Yes or no. Right or wrong.

It was a stick picture version. Black and white. And read all over. With a mug shot beside the words.

 

Here are the stark details from the local newspaper:

Precinct 4 Commissioner (name of commissioner), has been indicted by a Clay County grand jury, charged with abuse of official capacity, a class A misdemeanor.
________ is believed to have had a county employee, using a county-owned backhoe, clean out a ditch along a private drive in Precinct 4 on April 1, 2011, to benefit the owner of the property, located on B. Davis Road. The property is owned by (name of taxpaying citizen) who is disabled.
The property described in the indictment is not owned by ________.(The commissioner)
Use of the backhoe and personnel is valued at between $500 and $1,500.
According to state law, an elected official can be removed from office for a misdemeanor conviction, but not an indictment.
The case is being handled by a special prosecutor from Cooke County.
_______ is in his first term as commissioner. In 2010, he defeated (name of opponent), who had held the office for more than 20 years.

(http://pioneer-sentinel.com)

 

Now allow me to fill in some of the empty areas between the black and white. Let me color in shades of gray so you can see the complete picture.

One year ago the commissioner allegedly repaired a road for a tax-paying resident of the county.

The road is on private property. When it rains, water rises over the road and floods it. This renders the road impassable.

The road leads to the modest home of a county resident.  The county resident has terminal cancer and has been in a battle for his life for since the summer of 2003.  He is physically disabled from his terminal disease.  He can no longer walk and is confined to a wheelchair. His wife and teenage son take care of him at his home on private property at the end of the road that is impassable when it rains because it floods due to a ditch that needs to be cleaned out so the water can drain away from it.

They are a proud, hard-working family with a family heritage in Clay County that dates back over 75 years. They do not ask for help.

In April 2011, the county resident becomes even more ill than he has been. He is diagnosed with metastasized tumors to his spine. His oncologist tells him they can try an experimental treatment that may decrease the size of the tumors and, while the treatment will not cure him, it can possibly relieve some of the pain and allow him to live longer. It is also possible the treatment will make him so fragile he will be more vulnerable to infection and cause him to die from the treatment.

He agrees to the treatment. He must travel five days a week to the hospital 47 miles away to receive the treatment. He must have access to the public road by way of the road on his land.

It is springtime in Texas. It rains in the springtime in Texas. There is a big possibility that the road will flood and become impassable, forcing the ill man to miss his treatment or cause his inability to make it to a hospital in case the experimental treatment goes awry.

 

The commissioner is aware of the plight of the taxpaying resident. He knows that the road can be fixed by using a backhoe to clean out the ditch beside the road.  He has a decision to make.

The result of the experimental treatment is that the taxpaying resident lives another year (and hopefully more). Long enough for him to see his teenage son graduate from high school this Friday night on May 25, 2012, which has been his goal since he was diagnosed with renal cancer 9 years ago. Long enough for him to give his grandson a cherished birthday present. Long enough for him  make a lasting memory with his granddaughter. Long enough for his beloved daughter to take him deer hunting one more time, even though he had to go in his wheelchair. 

Now let’s suppose it is your decision to make. What would you do? Do you see this strictly in black and white or can you color in the picture with shades of gray?

Apparently someone looked at this scene strictly in black and white, right or wrong, yes or no and then reported it to someone else who saw it the same way who then reported it again, on and on, until it finally reached the Grand Jury and resulted in an indictment of the commissioner.

No good deed goes unpunished so to speak.

Now allow me to make a stick picture of actions that might be taken by any other government employee, whether city government, county government, state or federal.

Let’s look at it in black and white. Yes or no. Right or wrong.

Some government employees might:

  • read  personal email at work, update a Facebook status, look at eBay, or read a daily devotion on the government issued  computer at their desk in the government office during  assigned work hours.
  • roll the government provided vehicle past the Sonic drive-through window to retrieve a 44 ounce drink during the work day.
  • use a government vehicle to push the snow off the private road of a neighbor and constituent after a record-breaking snow storm.
  • use the government issued phone at the government provided desk during the work day  to call the electric company to tell them the bill will be paid on Friday.
  • use a government issued welder to build a smoker or other equipment for charitable use  at the government operated workshop and perhaps ask other government workers to help as well during the work day.
  • send a secretary to the post office with the request to pick up lunch while out running errands in the vehicle provided by the government.
  • decide to run by the privately owned farm to check on  cattle while out checking on government work in a government provided vehicle during the work day.

A government employee does this…a government employee does that…

Maybe the  acts described above are done for others. Maybe they are done solely for personal gain. Maybe no harm is meant. Maybe no laws are wantonly disregarded.

But it all pretty much looks the same in black and white when there are no shades of gray. Could anyone pass the harsh scrutiny of their own acts if painted only in black and white?

I know I couldn’t. Could you?

I have gathered a basket full of stones. Should you decide you are qualified to cast one, call me. I’ll let you be the first in line.