With Age Comes Wisdom…Life after 50

Oscar Wilde said, “With age comes wisdom.” Then he added, “But sometimes age comes alone.”

At the end of the 2012 school year (and probably every school year prior to it) there was a rash of silly high school senior pranks that made the news nationwide.

• In Clayton, Indiana, six seniors were suspended for covering all the windows and doors of their high school with 12,000 Post It notes. (A school board member gave them the key to the school.)

• In Walker, Michigan, seniors got in trouble for riding bicycles to school and messing up the traffic flow. (They got permission from the city officials to do it.)

• In Tampa, Florida, one senior got his diploma yanked when he “Tebowed” the principal while receiving his sheepskin. (His friend bet him $5.00 to do it.)

To my fellow adults I ask…what’s the big deal?

To me…someone who participated in…um…borrowing….an outhouse and placing it on the lawn in front of my alma mater and…um…spray painting our basketball team’s name on the bridge near the school of our number one rival…those pranks just sound like good, clean fun.

To those 18 year olds I say…go ahead now and pull a good, memorable prank , before you get too old and wisdom sets in.

Sure, I know pranks can get out of hand. I know people can get hurt. I know it disrupts the school day. But when you’re 18 years old and a high school senior you feel it’s necessary to make a name for yourself before you graduate.

Sometimes you’ve just got to have a little silliness.

Recently in the mid-sized city in which I reside, some young men pulled a prank that went awry. They…um…borrowed… a life-size, painted, fiberglass horse.

The horse was part of a big, fund-raising art project( similar to the Chicago painted cow project) for local non-profits.

She was a beautiful fiberglass mare named Miss Silver Buckles.

The horse was bought at the charity auction for $10,000 and placed in front of an upscale beauty shop. She was part of a herd of 20 or so brightly painted fiberglass horses that are now stationed all over town.

I guess seeing Miss Silver Buckles in front of the beauty shop was just too much for these kids to resist. I don’t know what they were thinking, but it probably seemed like a good idea at the time.

I’m pretty sure alcoholic beverages were involved during the decision making process. The phrase “Here, hold my beer and watch this” was likely uttered during the caper.

They were observed by security cameras as they loaded her into their pick-up truck  and drove away.  They didn’t know anyone saw them.

The problem with their plan arose the next morning. They clearly hadn’t thought it through. What the heck does one do with a full-sized fiberglass mare after one has sobered up?

Well, sad to say, the pranksters panicked when they saw their prank reported as a crime on the morning news. They cut Miss Silver Buckles up into fiberglass horse steaks and tried to dispose of her.

Of course, they were arrested and prosecuted. Now they’re on probation for their silliness. I guess they got off easy.

We used to hang horse thieves in Texas.

I totally understand the urges of these kids to do these silly things. I still occasionally feel the inclination to pull a well-executed prank myself.

In fact, I have my eye on a cement pig that’s part of a group of cement pigs that decorate the circle driveway of a house nearby.

The very nice lady who owns the house dresses her cement pigs for special occasions. At Christmas she puts wreaths around their necks. At Cinco de Mayo, they wear sombreros. Currently, they’re wearing leis, sun hats and cloth wraps like they are ready for a luau. (Which seems kind of an inappropriate way to dress a pig, considering what’s served at luaus.)

If I was 18, I would… um…borrow… the smallest pig. Then I would travel  all over town and take pictures of it, say, shopping at the flea market, drinking a Coke from Sonic Drive-In,  sitting under a tree at the park.

Then one dark night, I would take the little piggy …wee, wee, wee, all the way back home. And I’d put it back where it belongs, holding an envelope of pictures of its travels for its nice owner. I would hope for no security cameras.

But I’m not 18 any more, so I won’t. With age comes wisdom and I’ve thought better of it.

Besides, I’m way too old to do jail time.  I hear the beds are not very comfortable there.