Fifty Odd

I’ve been doing lots of  research lately about life after age 50. Most of my  findings come from reading my friends’ Facebook Status Updates and through general web surfing.

From all that intense research, I’ve found one common theme: there’s lots of rules for us old folks.

Specifically, there are lots of fashion rules for women over age 50. There are rules for hairstyles for women over 50. There are rules for make-up and skin care for women over 50. There are rules for clothing styles for women over 50. There are even rules for our undergarments.

Wow. Who knew it would be so hard to get old?

Well, it might be hard if you followed the so-called rules. I’ve never really been one who adheres well to other people’s rules about anything, much less fashion rules.

And since I’m not too good at following other people’s rules, I often just  make my own.

 Here are my fashion rules for women over age 50 :
They work for me. Feel free to break them if you want.

Yes, I followed the Over 50 Fashion Rules. Mine, anyway! ; )

• Rule #1: Wear layers. That way you can strip off clothing when you have a hot flash, then put it back on when it’s over and never show too much skin.
• Rule #2: Wear fleece. It’s always comfortable, if not quite stylish.
• Rule #3: Do not wear stained t-shirts to the grocery store. That’s just tacky.
• Rule #4: Comb your hair and do not wear anything fluorescent when you go to Wal-Mart. You don’t want to find a picture of yourself  as the Creature Feature at www.peopleofwalmart.com.
• Rule #5: Elastic waistbands. I don’t need to say more.
• Rule #6: Always wear a bra when you leave home. You know why. (You can always take it off in the car on your way home after your last social engagement of the day.)
• Rule #7: If it fits through the shoulders, but hangs off your body everywhere else, that’s close enough.
• Rule #8: Wear Nothing Binding.
• Rule #9: Spanx? Are you kidding? See Rules 5, 7, and 8.
• Rule #10: Wear a smile…and you can’t wear a smile if your clothes are uncomfortable.

Today I dressed according to my Fashion Rules for Women over 50.

I put on a pair of sweat pants with no holes or stains. I wore a bra and an unstained t-shirt under my non-fluorescent fleece Texas Longhorns hoodie (see rules 1, 3 and 4 about layers, tackiness, and fluorescents).

I wore my snow boots even though it was 50 degrees outside and it hasn’t snowed yet this year. I combed my hair and then I went shopping at Wal-Mart.

I was warm, but not too warm. I was comfortable, but would probably not be mistaken for a bag lady.

I was smiling (see rule 10).

I followed all the rules. The ones that count anyway….

Make up your own  “fashion rules for after 50″  . You’ll be way more comfortable that way.